113

I had a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. It actually was the perfect relationship, and he was the perfect boyfriend, which is why I never really acknowledged what had happened as what is actually was. And part of me still doesn't.


For my 18th birthday party I had some friends over and my "then boyfriend" was also there. I drank a lot, I had never been that drunk in my whole life. So when everyone left, he stayed. I was miserable and puked, so he helped me clean everything up, and took me for a bath. I wasn't actually unconscious, but wasn't in my right mind either. When he walked me into my bedroom, he immediately started kissing me and penetrating me. I only remember him being on top of me, and me looking at the ceiling like I was paralyzed, wanting to be anywhere but in that bed. I felt so bothered about what had happened but manged to forget about it because I know he wouldn't want to hurt me like that. Only a couple days ago when I watched a Grey's Anatomy episode about consent, and how it's not always about the girl who was running in the park at night, I began wondering if what happened to me was sexual assault or not...


And it's been 2 years since it happened