I was 10 years old old when I was playing at a friends house and he decided to take it upon himself to pin me down and touch my chest. He said it was a game. I didn’t like it. I said nothing. Did I do something to provoke it? I was 10.
I was 12 when a boy and his friends would constantly taunted me about hooking up in a field. Everyone laughed. I laughed. But I didn’t like it. I said nothing. Did I do something to provoke it? I was 12.
I was 14 when I stayed at my aunts house for the summer and a family member who was around my age began repeatedly touching me inappropriately. When I finally said something, they blamed me. Did I do something to provoke it? I was 14.
I was 19 when I decided to go on a date with a boy. After the date he took me home. And began forcing himself on me. I said no and try to push him away. Did I provoke it? I was 19.
Today at 24, I suffer from anxiety and depression, have an unhealthy relationship with my body because I feel that it is not mine, but belong to others. I struggle with relationships and wind up either seeking people that are 100% bad for me or go to substance abuse. But I survive and I am forcing myself to love my self and my body and to educate myself and others on sexual assault. All I can do is try.