The truth is that I’ve been a victim of sexual assault in every stage of my life. I was molested by oral sex and foreplay as a 3-4 yr old by a family member. Raped at age 15 by a so-called friend when I was vomiting in a sink from alcohol poisoning. Domestically abused by the only two boyfriends I’ve had. And object raped at age 24 in a public bar two weeks ago.
It’s hard to keep going like I'm normal and okay. I have recently needed my family and friends as a support group more than ever. I am more angry than ever. More hopeless than ever. But somehow I just can’t give up. Me not giving up means I will continue to shower, clean my house, pay my bills, go outside once a day, and work out and eat. I’m scared to do normal things alone like go out to the store. I see more fear in my days than I can comprehend and I have to sleep a lot. I have always reported my assaults to the police and done rape kits, which are terrifying and painful, by the way. I don’t just sit and hope for justice, I will fight for justice until I feel it. I just have awful anxiety until then.