I was watching a TV show tonight that portrayed sexual assault, and it’s incredible how quickly the memories come back...
The boy who would ask me to be his partner in Spanish class, make me sit in front of his desk on a higher stool and then use my foot to pleasure himself. Try learning Spanish while that is going on.
The boy who had his hand down the back of my pants on the bus on the way to our senior field trip, and then again while watching movies at my house, WITH my family in the same room. Just why?
The boy who I enjoyed sleeping next to, who would touch me inappropriately “in his sleep,” and then forget/deny anything the next morning. Maybe I was imagining it?
I never said “yes,” but I also never said “no.” It’s taken me years and years to come to peace with the fact that my silence was not “yes.” I did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong (I still have to convince myself some days).
If you’re reading this and have experienced similar things, you did nothing wrong. Nothing about your silence means that these things are okay. Do not let anyone try and convince you otherwise. I believe you.
