I was raped by the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. After the rape, my therapist at the time didn't believe me and told me “I guess you don’t have to worry about him being gay, if that’s the first thing he thinks about doing when he’s drunk." When I confronted my rapist ex boyfriend about this he said “yeah, that was a dick move.” It’s been 3 years and I feel like I should be over it. Some days it hits me like a load of bricks and other days I’m better. I used some very unhealthy coping mechanisms after being raped, like sleeping around, drinking more and being more risky with my life because I have no regard for myself because of what he took away from me. Fast forward, I now have alopecia areata because the extreme stress triggered an autoimmune response in my body and my hair started falling out. I want to get stronger and better for me but it’s so hard to pull yourself out of this hole once you’re deep inside.