Brionna

Lotus Petal

February 9, 2018

Brionna





I don’t really know how to start this poem.

I try and try and try.


But


I always seem to fail.


I am always asking myself to do more.

Never satisfied with who I am.

Or what I’m doing.


Tension in my neck.


Anger in my heart.

.

.

.

.

.

I don’t know how to let go.


I pray to the man up above

God hear my cries.

Taste my tears.

Feel my rage bursting out of my chest.

Help me to feel my pain.

Give me the capacity to feel all that I need to feel.


Frozen.


I am frozen.


He would force his way in,

Tear down all my borders.

Wreck all my protective walls.

My flower.

My precious flower bloomed too early.

Not ready to see the darkness in this world yet.

He danced in my pools of water.

He was intoxicated with the smell of my aura.

My body was his road map. All bones and curves guiding him to his final destination.

He stole my flower.

Tore off all my petals.

Left them to writhe in pain.

I am in pain.

15 years later and I only have these suppressed memories.


Forgotten memories of him.

Of my stolen flower.

Aging, going through the motions, but frozen in time.

Not knowing why am I like this?

Now knowing how I was. Who I was

Who am I?