Collor

Updated: Mar 30

After some years of moving and juggling my life around, I decided to take a break and be an au pair, so I moved to Ireland. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and decided to give dating in a foreign country a chance. I met an incredible guy. He was sweet and nice and treated me unlike anyone ever did before.


When my permit for Ireland expired I went back to the U.S. We planned he’d come visit me and met up in NYC. I had just switched my birth control method so my cycles were all messed up, and I got my period while he was visiting, which he knew, so I assumed he was aware sex was out of the picture at the moment. He tried to have sex once while in NYC, but I declined since I was just starting my period.


Being his first time in the States we decided to visit L.A. as well so he could see more of the country. And that’s when it all got complicated. My period had already lasted about seven days and I was just as miserable as any one could be on her period, when one night I felt how he was getting closer to me, the same way he did when he wanted to have sex. I said no because I was on my period, he asked me if I was sure to which I replied “yes,” and he turned around and went back to sleep.


The next morning the same thing happened, he asked if I was sure, and I said once again yes. And then again at night, and then again the next morning. And so and so until I gave in.


It wasn’t violent, I wasn’t drunk, he wasn’t abusive, but he knew I didn’t want to do it. I felt odd. The rest of the trip I was just annoyed and miserable. As soon as he left I felt like I could breathe again. But I wasn’t sure what had just happened. Is it rape if he wasn't violent towards me?